Dating attitudes and expectations among young Chinese adults: an examination of gender differences

Dating attitudes and expectations among young Chinese adults: an examination of gender differences

Chinese online dating services have grown increasingly popular as they draw on traditional Chinese dating values such as material security and marriage-focused relationships. When year-old auto sales manager Zhou Yixin joined online dating at the behest of her cousin living in Beijing, she did not expect to meet her steady boyfriend of two years. Unlike in first-tier cities like Beijing and Shanghai, where new trends emerge and quickly permeate society, Zhou was considered an early adopter in the second-tier city Yantai in Shandong Province when she began online dating in the early s. When Zhou reached her late twenties, she felt an increasing amount of pressure from her family to get married. The site is typically used by young singles between 24 and 35 and is commonly viewed as a tool for seeking long-term relationships and possibly marriage. She found that it was not only easy to use and fit the pace of her busy professional life, but it also expanded her dating pool beyond local men in her city to access potential partners of better quality from other regions. An increasing number of Chinese have turned to online dating and dating apps. Chinese online dating services have grown increasingly popular as they draw on traditional Chinese dating values such as material security and marriage-focused relationships, and expand connections beyond the screen with offline events and relationship counseling services. Dating in China has changed significantly with the arrival of online dating in the last decade. According to Houran, romantic matchmaking was previously done almost exclusively through personal matchmakers, whereas now that process is being steadily replaced by dating sites with compatibility matching algorithms.

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Nearly half of the country’s million unmarried people are expected to use online dating platforms by as young and independent singles are successfully using apps to find a romantic match. Known as “matching windows and doors”, Chinese parents have played the role of matchmaker for generations, pairing up their children based on personality traits, occupations and socioeconomic class. While these practices still exist, China’s increasingly independent young people are now in favour of a more empowering digital solution.

One such example is Baihe, a dating platform that digitises the more traditional aspects of courtship in China. While other online dating platforms — such as the industry leader Momo — are designed for more casual dating, Baihe provides a platform to find a potential spouse. The personal data supplied by users — including real names, qualifications, occupation, property ownership information and credit scores — is used to find a good romantic match.

While these digital matchmaking platforms might have modernised the dating experience for young Chinese people, like generations before them, they still face social expectations to marry and have children. For most young couples a good match is not simply “love for love’s sake”, but it must also take into account social mobility, physical and mental compatibility and family background.

A Look at Chinese Culture and Dating

Enter your mobile number or email address below and we’ll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer – no Kindle device required. To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number. Would you like to tell us about a lower price? The author has lived, worked, loved and married in China over a period of 9 years. He speaks the language and knows the customs of the Chinese people and Chinese ladies quite well.

acceptance among Chinese university students in Taiwan as among duration of the typical participation in dating may Chinese marriage.

He has never been in a relationship. He has never kissed a woman. Now, Mr. So Mr. Zhang turned to a dating coach. Zhang, who enrolled in a three-day course during a weeklong holiday in October. While dating is hard everywhere, it is arguably worse for Chinese men looking for a woman. In , there were about China worries about its lonely hearts. Newspapers warn that a surplus of unhappy, single men in China could lead to an increase in human trafficking, sex crimes and social instability.

So the government is playing matchmaker. In June, the Communist Youth League, a training ground for many top officials, organized a mass speed dating event for 2, young singles in the eastern province of Zhejiang.

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Marriage in China has undergone change during the country’s reform and opening period, especially as a result of new legal policies such as the New Marriage Law of and the Family planning policy in place from to However, both parental and cultural pressures are still placed on many individuals, especially women, to choose socially and economically advantageous marriage partners. Traditionally, marriage life was based on the principles of the Confucian ideology.

The segregation of females and the education of males were cultural practices which separated the two sexes, as men and women would occupy different spheres after marriage. Although these are common Han practices, many minority groups in China practice different marriage and family lineage practices. For example, the small ethnic minority of the Mosuo practice matrilineal succession, [8] and for the entire process from pregnancy, childbirth, to raising a family, the wife-husband pair work together and there is very little gendered division of labor in the practices of the Lahu people.

What are the differences between dating an American person versus a Chinese person? Of course, every individual relationship is different.

Chinese dating is just as confusing, and wonderful, as any other type of dating. For Westerners, a willingness to learn about Chinese culture can make an interracial or international relationship stronger. For Chinese individuals who want to meet others from the same ethnic background, internet dating sites can help. As with any culture, not everyone from China shares the same beliefs.

Still, there are some attitudes about dating that are common among the Chinese. An important one is the involvement of family. In the United States, we’re used to the idea that we make our own choices about whom we date and whom we marry. But in traditional Chinese families, the parents may expect to have a say. Issues that often emerge include:. You’re bound to get into trouble if you assume that for all Chinese, dating is the same. You’ll meet people who were born in the United States and have never lived in China, but who still follow traditional Chinese culture.

You’ll also find people who moved here as adults but are completely comfortable with American-style dating. And of course, you’ll find everything in between as well.

Things To Know About Chinese Dating Culture

Useful Chinese Phrases Impress your date with Chinese phrases you expect easily learn using our free Chinese e-books. International Many foreigners use this gift in and out of China, which means you can meet a variety of people. A Proper Date Just like the old days, a date that starts with a dinner to get to know your potential partner. Equality Women can tell to take men out to dinner too. It loves both problems!

Marriage in China has undergone change during the country’s reform and opening period, in recent years to help homosexual individuals find a member of the opposite sex to marry, while continuing to date people of the same sex.

March 27, pm Updated March 27, pm. Guo Yingguang has posted a viral video that captures just how tough the dating scene can be in China. The Shanghai Marriage Market is largely made up of Chinese parents seeking a suitable partner for their son or daughter. The market runs from pm every Saturday and Sunday and provides a chance for parents to talk to each other to see whether their respective children might be a match.

Yingguang, a year-old photographer, is university educated — she studied art in London and speaks English. But for some parents on the marriage market, this can actually be a hindrance. A lot of parents in the video asked Yingguang how old she was — a fact she deliberately left out of her personal ad. Bizarrely, Yingguang was often even compared to real estate.

Yingguang said she was inspired to make the video after she broke up with her boyfriend of nine years. For men, the focus is on property ownership and the condition of their car.

Chinese singles start blind dating at a younger age

One of the primary issues here is that for Chinese women, there is a much stronger emphasis on getting married early. China is relatively new to the whole modern-stable-globalized-internet still working on that last one, really country thing, and when your culture is over 4, years in the making, old habits die hard. That’s because her grandparents’ and possibly depending on where in China she is from her parents still value marital stability above all else in their time, given the instability and volatility of their eras.

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Photo: Courtesy of Jo Bai. Being with a Chinese man is fundamentally different, yet rewarding, and brings great joy to Kathy De Leye, an entrepreneur in the health business who comes from Belgium. However, one challenge that Western spouses point out about their Chinese husbands is communication. If something is wrong, such as a problem at work, he won’t talk about it.

She said compared to men from the West, her husband is very quiet and works much more. But the fact that he’s not saying anything bothers me,” she said. The couple has already had a few fights because of the communication issue, but they are working on finding a solution. As Chinese society becomes more international and modern, cross-cultural marriages are becoming more and more common. Today, on International Women’s Day, Metropolitan, China’s expat community lifestyle guide, shines a spotlight on expat women in the community who are married to Chinese men.

From a female perspective, they share what their lives are like with Chinese men in relation to a woman’s status and role in the relationship and what rights are like in a cross-cultural union. When East and West unite As both De Leye and her husband are busy with their work, she wants to make sure that the two of them have an evening together every week to just sit and talk or watch a movie.

However, she has to convince her husband that it is important for their marriage and not a “waste of time. Growing up in the US, she watched her parents express love through words, kisses and hugs. The other difference is how they value and think about money, Bai said.

What Is Different About Dating in China?

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As you may expect, dating is a little bit different in China than it is in most Western countries. The basics are the same—people are people everywhere—but there are still a few differences regarding culture and social cues to note. They simply have too much work to do. But in general, Chinese students leave high school with a lot less romantic experience than their American counterparts. More so than Westerners, many Chinese view dating as a pragmatic affair.

In general, sex before marriage in China is less common and considered more serious than it is in many Western cultures. Attitudes toward sex are changing, especially in more cosmopolitan cities like Beijing and Shanghai, but in general, many Chinese women see sex as a sign that a relationship is headed towards marriage.

The ultimate goal of most relationships in China is marriage. Young Chinese adults are often under a lot of pressure from the elders in their family to find a good husband or wife and get married relatively early.

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